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Funny Tips of Legal Go-Green in Malaysia

April 23rd, 2009 · 1 Comment

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I am one of the members of a lawyers google groups email forum created mainly for Malaysian lawyers. Recently the forum was discussing about promoting paperless practice within the legal community and encourage participation in recycling campaign, in conjunction with the Earth Day – 22 April.

Out of the blue, a humorous lawyer, Americk Sidhu, shooted the funny and creative ideas, which everyone in the forum have a good laugh.

I have obtained his permission to reproduce the classic ideas of “Legal Go-Green in Malaysia” for your perusal.

The tips for Malaysian lawyers to save paper and energy are:

1. Don’t file anymore appeal records. Just ask the bench to take your word as to what was said in the court below. This should be no problem because we are all members of a noble profession and we don’t ever lie.

2. No more written submissions in quintuplicate. Just write down a few salient points on the back of your hanky in washable ink and hand it to the bench. Please resist the urge to blow in it first. Then take your hanky back and wash it for the next appeal.

3. Send all Judges on one of those courses they spend so much time at except this one will be with a difference. Its called the ‘learning to read over the shoulder of your fellow Judge’ course The idea here is that you will then only need to submit one hanky in the Court of Appeal and Federal Court, for sharing.

4. Allow all lawyers and learned counsel (purposely disjunctive), to disrobe in court and instead get into some snazzy speedos. This will obviate the necessity for air conditioning so you can throw all the windows open instead. Invite the bench to do the same. Biodegradable sick bags will be provided.

5. Start all court proceedings at 11.30 am each day. This will give learned counsel time to cycle there in their snazzy speedos with their hankies tucked in their waistbands.

6. As a result of 5 above, all redundant car parks in courts will be turned into organic vegetable plots, form which healthy and nutritious meals will be provided by the canteen staff at discounted prices. It would be best not to advertise the fact that all potty products will be diverted to these organic farm ex car parks as natural fertilizers.

7. All political dissidents will be encouraged to hold their candle light vigils during the day time in all court rooms so that the lights can be turned off instead. Please however exercise caution because speedos are made out of highly inflammable material.

8. Lawyers will no longer be allowed to smoke along the corridors. Tobacco smoke contains 4,000 poisonous substances which are expelled into the environment with each puff. Instead, lawyers will be encouraged to consume natural herbs like ‘tongkat ali’. And with everyone wandering around in tight fitting bathing costumes, the results could be interesting.

9. Finally, all bar Council meetings and EGMs will be banned. This will obviate the necessity of printing voluminous documentation, hiring expensive hotel ballrooms and having to listen to a variety of gas bags with grouses. Instead those with an axe to grind will be directed to a democratically inclined tree in Ipoh where they can vent their frustrations in the open air and free of any charge.

Tags: Funny Cool Thing · Lawyer Joke

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